A little background on why I hate sugar

Since I can remember, I have been a sweetaholic. As a child, we had no rules about sweets. My mom was a sweetaholic too. We were poor and on a very tight budget, but the one thing we could afford for fun was food. Whenever we did something special, it was centered around food: and really good deserts.

I will never forget standing around the kitchen aid watching butter cream together with sugar and dipping my finger in right before she put in the egg; while it was still safe.
sigh. the love.

Not surprisingly, I had a bit of a weight problem as a child. But I learned to manage it. I got on “Deal a Meal” at age 10 and smuggled my little food cards in to fourth grade so none of the other kids would know I was on a diet. After all, 120lbs in fourth grade was kind of a lot, and I figured I should do something about it. I read every article in Seventeen magazine about how to loose weight, and I finally did through exercise.

Then it really happened. After a dark and dreary move to the pacific northwest from California, I discovered that there was this amazing concoction you could have that woke you up, and tasted wonderful: the Mocha. Armed with $20 a week for lunch money and a coffee stand at every intersection (this was before they all started to make coffee in their underwear), I became a full fledged caffine adict. It was perfectly logical for me to eat a mocha for breakfast since it was %90 milk. This didn’t create blood sugar spikes at all in my 14 year old body. Really.

coffee + chocolate + whipped cream = I really don’t mind that class starts at 7:20 am.

Thus began the slow death of my will power.

In college, this pattern continued with terrible vigor. I couldn’t afford to spend much money on food, and I worked at Starbucks so any drink I got while I worked was free. So if I needed to eat while I wasn’t at work, I bought a slim fast (in a 4 year attempt at losing 15lbs), and while at work, I “ate” mochas and frappuccinos, and the all too abundant cookie samples. When I say sample, I mean 2 very large cookies over the course of a shift that I would cut up and “sample” to customers, but end up eating all between myself and the other workers.

This way of eating actually caused me to develop a dairy allergy, that I won’t get into right now.
I could eat this way, because I worked on my feet, exercised regularly and kept my calories under 1350 every day. Counting meticulously with tallys on my hand. Sort of annoying actually.
It wasn’t until I got pregnant for the first time that I stopped restricting my calories. For the first time since I was 10 years old, I wasn’t on a diet. And boy did I make up for it. My favorite thing was pizza and blizzards from DQ.
You guessed it. I gained fifty pounds, which took me 2 years of intense boot camp style working out to loose.
Second pregnancy: no holds bared on the sweets. Bags of m&m’s, marshmallows, chocolate chips, ice cream… but only fourty pounds. And a toddler who knows too much about the above mentioned foods.
I’m now left with a full fledged sugar addiciton complete with withdrawl symptoms, cravings and a huge appetite. This makes it impossible for me to stop once I’ve started, until I’m bloated and sick.
This had to stop. I can’t leave a legacy like this for my boys. They deserve a better example.
I’m starting this blog as a form of therapy. I don’t care if anyone reads it. It’s for me, and for those who find the information I post to be useful.
Sugar is an addictive drug and it’s in everything. It’s responsible for diabetes, heart disease, obesity and even cancer.

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